thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
i now understand why vodka
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
