So drunk, too bad you don't want this
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize