Just fell off a train. Bad.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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