His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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