And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
