you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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