Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
