real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
