I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She swung at the pinata with crutches
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
