this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
the day after is always just damage control
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize