Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
They have beer where we have blood.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
