you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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