she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Can I color on your dick again?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize