Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
