these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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