i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
