Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I deserve to be covered in dicks
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
