This girl is more easily done than said...
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
