D3 body, D1 cock
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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