I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
