the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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