I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
