Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
