just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize