hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
