Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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