So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
