i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
