I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
