If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just invented taco cereal.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
