you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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