its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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