I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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