Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
