Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
