you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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