Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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