It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
