That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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