i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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