Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We have started to decorate penises.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
