He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
