the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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