dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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