I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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