dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Can I color on your dick again?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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