after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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