Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
