Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My cat gives me a boner
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
