My nipple is on Facebook.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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