we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
