Three words: puerto rican gang bang
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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