Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
