My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
