Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Drunk is a universal language darling
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