party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
